Wonderful Daughter And Son example essay topic

Anger and guilt go hand in hand in many cases that I have experienced. My story begins with the loss of my father and my grandson within one year. This brought back many feelings from 22 years prior when I lost my first child. Let me start with the loss of my son 6 days after he was born.

Beautiful baby boy with blonde hair and long fingers and toes the perfect baby to me. I was nineteen and believed everything the doctor told me because I thought I could trust him. Well my son arrived 1 1/2 month's early butt first and under distress. As I laid awake in the operating room I could sense something was wrong but the doctor assured me everything was okay. I should have known when I didn't here my baby cry and the room filled with silence. The lights in my face I was strapped to a table and could move to see anything.

It was cold and I felt horror and panic over come me in a way a young person should never feel. Later that night I discovered that my son was sick and needed to be transferred to another hospital. Together my family and my husband made the diction to take him off of life support because I could not be selfish to let a baby live like a vegetable just so that I could be with him. After the emotions of the funeral I withdrew from family and friends and thought I was the only person this could happen to and what a bad person I must have been to have my son taken from me. I now have a wonderful daughter and son who have been the joy of my life. They know of there brother and look like him as babies.

January 28, 2002 approximately 3: 00 pm I felt sick to my stomach e at work and had the feeling someone in my family was trying to tell me something because I usually got sick when something bad happened to one of us. I shook the feeling off and went about my business. Later this day I found out my father had passed away after a bout with congestive heart failure and Alzheimer's disease. I was angry at him for leaving me at such a young age (he was only 69). I just knew he would get better and come back to me as his old self. I would drive to California those long 4-hour dead boring drives to Newport Beach and take care of him for the weekend.

He would eat everything from Lemon Meringue pie to eggs and bacon. He always knew when I was there because he could smell the bacon cooking in the am and knew he had to eat. When I went home that's when the guilt came because I didn't take the time off to really take care of him like I should have and knowing I had the time from work to do so, made me question myself about being a good daughter or not. I missed out on a few good years of his life because I was selfish and stubborn and could forgive things from the past. So his loss was a great deal of many emotions and good memories for me. The loss of my grandson made me so angry I thought I was about to explode and hurt someone because of all the hurt I felt I had been through.

Here again my other son was dealing what I had gone through at his age and all I could think of was being there for him and taking his pain away. November 1, 2002 was the day I had to relive the pain of hurt, guilt, and anger all over again. I was angry for how the girl's family had treated the pregnancy as though it wasn't important. I was angry at how the parents (her parents and my sons father and stepmother) from both sides were acting about the arrangements and costs and never took into consideration how the kids felt.

Two of us have done this and have experienced so we needed to be strong and help the kids through this as much as possible not fight and bicker over something minor. I have managed to survive both of these losses by knowing that my father, son, and grandson are up in heaven watching over me and my two children. When I start to feel sad or miss any of them I remember how thankful I am to have the two I have and will someday become a grandparent of a wonderful child who needs a grandmother. Until this day arrives with all that joy, excitement and happiness of a new life to celebrate I will wait with calm, serene, peace and feel blessed that I have what I have.

Word Count: 818.